I’ve recently decided to go dark on Instagram, and debating deleting my account all together. I can’t stop comparing myself to other people, and it’s messing with my head.
For the last couple of years I’ve really loved Instagram. With 18,000 followers I had the hope of being sponsored and getting paid while staying home with the kids. That opportunity is incredibly rare, and although it’s hard to give up the dream, it’s necessary.
I have some serious goals for myself, and they all boil down to being a healthier person. I had the best intentions when I started following fitness accounts, but now 99% of my feed is made up of Instagram models with bodies that are unattainable to me. No matter how much weight I lose, I’m not going to grow a pair of voluptuous boobs overnight. The extra skin on my stomach will not magically disappear, my nose will not change shape, and my bank account won’t allow for daily smoothie bowls (let alone tropical vacations in my bikini.) And yet, there I sat scrolling through a billion pictures of perfect women and asking myself ‘why not me?’
Here’s the honest truth, a whole lot of work goes into those perfect pictures. Most of it isn’t real, and most of it is actually taking place in a stressful moment of trying to work the best angle, and yelling at your boyfriend for taking such horrible pictures. I was spending too much of my precious time comparing myself to people who I would never become.
I found myself in a dark spiral, losing my self confidence, worth, and appreciation for the things I DID have. That’s not the kind of person I want to be. That’s not the example I want to set for my family.
In reality, the grass is NOT greener. They used a filter. Things here are pretty amazing. My mind and body feel the best they ever have. I’ve been blessed with an incredible family, and we have a really good life together. Instagram was taking away from that- and that’s not okay.
I’m not sure yet if I need a break for Instagram, or to leave it entirely. Just like in a relationship with a person, there has to be a line between a small problem and toxic. Some things can’t be altered just because you want them to work, and being a healthy person means walking away when you need to.
Today, take a look at the honest and raw things in your life that are absolutely beautiful. Maybe it’s a person, a feeling, a characteristic of yourself. Appreciate it without comparison. Be gracious for the life you live, even if you are working towards a better life. Take a look at what’s dragging you down, and remove the toxic things from your life. You have the ability to put yourself in the best environment for your health. What changes can you make today?
With healthy hearts,
Kate and the Kids.