I spent yesterday with my sister and her husband. At one point she asked me how I was doing. I told her I was doing fine, laughed and asked her how SHE was doing. I didn’t get it at first. She gave me this “try again” look, and asked me again; How are you doing?
When she explained her concern, she cited that I hadn’t been blogging enough. She knows when I have good days because I want to share my positive energy and lift others. It’s the times where I go radio silent that she worries. The truth is, I “blog” every day, but most of my rough drafts don’t make it to the internet. Unless my writing has the ability to make a positive impact or help others, I don’t want to share it.
I’ve found that most of my writing this week has not been helpful for others, but it is helpful for me to write my feelings down. I’ve needed to vent, but I don’t need to do it on a public forum. Things have been crazy for us lately. The kids have been sick, I’m disappointed in a friend, hurt by a family member, and always stressing out about keeping our family organized. Knowing these are the events I’m going through won’t help you, but I hope the way I’m coping with them will.
The first thing that I had to learn this week is that when people in your life make bad decisions, it isn’t your fault. It isn’t your child’s fault, nor your spouse. It is that one person who made the decision’s fault. It’s normal to be angry, disappointed, and sad- but it’s not okay to take those feelings out on the people you are close to. I found myself in a moment of irritability and snapped at my son. I immediately realized that I’d misdirected my anger. I changed my tone, apologized, and we continued our conversation without issue. It is not his fault I’m on edge, and he doesn’t deserve to absorb my bad energy.
The second lesson I had to learn to live was the age old “accept the things you can not change.” My son has a chronic illness. We manage his symptoms, but the days can be trying. There is no use in stressing and obsessing over it. We take him to see his specialists, we follow his treatment plan. Losing sleep over my frustrations doesn’t help anyone. It also applies to the relationships of my friends and family. It breaks my heart to see people be malicious to each other. It hurts to see them end their friendships and marriages, but there is nothing I can do to stop their choices. I just have to be supportive when they need help getting through the process.
Finally, I learned to practice what I preach. I let my goals go this week by trying to keep the other people in my life together. I’m stressing out about getting the kids packed for our trip this week, I’m trying to be accomodating to my husband’s short term overnight work schedule, I’m focusing on spoiling my niece who will be arriving next month, I’m worrying about the strongest person in my life- who happens to currently be going through absolute hell. I missed a few workouts, I ate some things that made me sick. I didn’t take time to breathe. I’m not sleeping. I KNOW what I need to do, but it’s much easier said than done.
It’s a new week, and a new day. I can recognize my own problems, so I need to take the initiative to do better. Going forward I’m letting go of other people’s problems. I’m putting myself back at the top of my priority list. I’m accepting that I can not control others. I’m going to be that bad ass mother that I know I can be, and totally run my shit. I’m taking my life back this week, and I’m not planning on dropping the reins again anytime soon.
What are you doing different this week? Where can you take the control back? Where can you let go of negativity?
Wishing you strength, empowerment and positivity.
With healthy hearts,
Kate and the Kids.
3 thoughts on “Let’s be honest, It’s not always pretty and happy- But It’s never too late to turn it around.”
one thing you find as a blogger is you need to post what will help you as a blogger. I too don’t post a lot when things are going through my head. This has nothing to do with pleasing my blogging readers, and more to do with the fact that some people who know me IRL follow my blog and I don’t always want to address the real issues of life with them.
just remember to take life one step, one day at a time. I often take my misteps as learning opportunities. I have spoken to my own sons many times about the whole concept of misdirected anger/frustration. they’ve learned that everyone does it. It is easier to snap and be short with those who you know on no uncertain terms will still love you and be there for you no matter what you just said. they need to learn this lesson to see it in themselves and those they are close to
I hope this week brings you a bit more peace
Thank you for this it really did touch me. It’s important for you to write what helps others but also what helps you and I think you have done a great job here of doing just that! To answer your question I am going to regain control over my eating because the past few days I have eaten unlike I have in some time and even though it was because I was under the weather that’s no excuse to just throw in the towel. So I’m getting stuff together and getting my eating back on track so I can continue to crush these fat loss goals! Have a great rest of the week my friend!
Beautiful post Kate. I’m sorry you are feeling that way, one day at a time. It sounds like you know what to do..it’s just hard sometimes. I get that too. Chin up beautiful lady!