Last night our little family attended my cousin’s wedding. The happy couple tailored their wedding to their unique style, and almost everything was unconventional. The one thing that really stood out to me were the vows they recited. They were unlike any I’d ever heard before, but something all of us live everyday.
I quote these loosely, as I was too emotional to remember them word for word.
“Will you anger, annoy, or frustrate your partner?”
“I may.”
“Is this your intent?”
“No.”
“Will you cause physical, emotional or mental pain to each other?”
“We may.”
“Is this your intent?”
“Absolutely not.”
I’ve heard a lot of sugary-sweet wedding vows. I’ve heard funny ones, I’ve heard very personal ones. These were by far the most honest, real, raw vows I had ever heard, and are something every relationship can relate to. I could say these words to anyone I love- my husband, sister, mother, even children. The ones we love most are often the ones who see us at our worst, but facing challenges with the best intentions will set us up for the most realistic version of success.
Of all times to hear these vows, they came at the tail end of our vacation. They came after a long road trip in a packed minivan, and cramming six people in one hotel room for four nights. After sharing one hotel with our extended family, and running into people we knew everywhere. Trust me, their words hit home. Family can be annoying, stressful and frustrating- but it isn’t our intent. At the end of all of it, we love each other immensely.
I will carry their words with me, and keep in mind that people make mistakes. Forgiveness is a huge part of every relationship. When you really love someone, you must try to be patient if they explode some intense feelings in moments of weakness, but trust that their intention is not to hurt you.
Their vows came to me at a time when I really needed this reminder. I hope they help you as much as they helped our family.
With healthy hearts,
Kate and the kids.
Kate and the Kids 